Husband refuses to communicate, and so much more?

I swear, I don't badger him, I don't wait till he gets home from work to attack him, or anthing like that. I have learned through the years that that isnt the way to do it. But, like today. We planned on going out and getting some errands done. In the middle of me getting ready he shouts out, "we r not going to the prom or anything, lets just go"; wouldnt he appreciate me looking my best while being out with him? And then when I tried to talk to him about how he makes me feel like a second cl citizen, has no interest in me or how I have been feeling, avoids communication, intimacy, and anything that remotely involves spending quality time together, he just blatenly starts talking about the traffic and says "thought we were out to shop, not do this". So then I preceed to give him what he wants like always, "which is to be seen not heard", he starts with the "I love U's" what sitting 10 feet away from me and winking his eye like that means anything to me. Like I am suppose to accept that as affection and move on. Geez, what do I do. I've tried the talke a long shower, and shave and lotion and perfumes and nighty's till I am blue in the face. I have been trying for 5 long years. When is it time to give up on the wedding vows and move on with my own life?